Vegetarian!

Man!! These last few weeks have been ridiculously crazy!! I've been sick mostly, but also working and trying to keep up with Math. Life lately, while hectic, has been absolutely perfect. J and I have been getting along very well and have been each other's partner in crime. B is still doing great! It amazes me at how much one can thrive if given the right circumstances. I know choices are choices and can affect life in either a positive or negative aspect, but its nice to see her making good decisions. 

I mentioned last time that I've been researching the idea of vegetarianism. Well I'm proud to tell you that as of today I am officially a vegetarian! I have also had 2 days without meat and I feel amazing! I've been asked why I want to be a veg head and for a little while I wasn't sure. I don't agree with animal cruelty, however its not a strong enough belief to give up meat. The main reason I've given up meat is for health reasons. I just discovered through this experiment that when giving up meat, my stomach aches go away. I've also discovered that I no longer feel sluggish and tired. Lets not even bring up the grain they're fed and all the antibiotics meat animals are injected with. Its just a hot mess that I want nothing to do with anymore. I currently have no cravings for meat, but Im sure the day will come when I do. I just hope I can find enough recipes that I love to help keep those at bay.

Yesterday the fam and I went to Aladdins - and I tried some new foods. I learned that I do not care for falafel or Greek salad dressing. I'm not so much proud that I don't like - but that I even tried them. A big secret about J and I - up until recently, we've eaten like toddlers. The same foods over and over a gain with no real culinary variety or nutrients for that matter. I'm a bit ashamed of it yes, but it's the truth and I've moved on.  I plan to keep you all up to date on the most recent developments with my new diet and all the positives and negatives that come from it!

Weekend

Its finally my weekend! This last week has been rough - albeit not nearly as rough as the one before. I am currently in one of my many reflective stages where I evaluate everything in my life and if I still believe everything I've believed up until now. I currently am obsessing over the possibility of switching to vegetarianism. As of right now the only meat I currently eat is boneless, skinless chicken breast and ground beef. I've never been into steak, fish, or really any poultry other than BL/SL. Hopefully there wont be too much difficulty transitioning, but I don't know what it will be like so I really cant say. Recipe searching is my goal for right now - with a planned transition next week. Thankfully, I have Reddit for recipes and friends and family who have made the transition for mental support.

This morning as the first morning back to the gym since this freaking cold/sinus bug hit. Im feeling amazing right now as endorphins flow through my body. I've always been a yo-yo dieter, and clearly its never worked before. The most successful I was happened to be right before J and I got married. I didnt lose a lot but I certainly toned up. I weighed 155 when J and I met...and weight 185 when we got married 2 years later. Its crazy how fast the weight adds up. The screwed up part is that it figures out to be less than 2 pounds a month - makes me angry just thinking about it. Currently I have lost 21 pounds since I started again in June. However, I have a lot more to lose than 30 pounds. Oh well, slow and steady win the race, right?

Hypocrisy Angers Me

I am not ashamed of my life - or my choices. No matter what has happened in my life I will talk about it - mostly because everything has led me to where I am right now; the happiest I've ever been! With that said I have no trouble explaining that as brought up as a Born Again Baptist. I was in and Independent Fundamental Baptist Church until I was 20 years old. J and I also got married when I was 20. A lot of people blame him as the reason I stopped going to church - and sadly that is the furthest thing from the truth! 

The reason I stopped going to the church is because I was finally able to think on my own and realize that the people I was surrounding myself with are not even close to the people I want to be around. Don't get me wrong - like in every situation there are good and bad and extremists on both sides of the spectrum. What I came to realize is that the majority of the people in my former church said one thing but lived something completely, drastically different. For instance, "Come as you are" was a common tag line - but what wasn't so advertised was "as long as you believe the same way we do". "Church is a hospital for sick people" was another "however were all going to pretend like we're the doctor and tell you what to do" was the line out the other side of their mouths. "We love everyone the same"...."unless you aren't in our little clique then you can go away." My favorite has to be "Don't put God in a box - He can work through any situation" ...."unless it happens to be music, dress, and preaching/teaching."

I saw all of this because I saw the most HORRENDOUS thing I could have possibly ever seen. Sadly the video has since been removed, however I will still expound upon the video. It was video that was most likely shot by a cell phone camera of some teens in a bowling alley. Now everyone who's ever been bowling knows that the music is very loud and its full of some pretty unique people. In the video a song by Lady Gaga comes on - not sure of the song but in the video this young man goes on to talk about what an abomination she is and what a whore she is and how she soooo evil. And its that kind of  hateful speaking and actions that really irk me. You cant say what you want to just because you're a "Christian" In fact - I would dare say you're not a Christian at all. The idea of Christianity is being Christ like- and I HIGHLY doubt God would say those things. The God I was raised to believe in is loving and kind and wins people through compassion - not slandering and calling names. I really wish I could access the video and the comments that went along with it so you could get a better understanding of what I'm referring to.  It saddens me that for so long I was associated with those people - not the belief system because I still feel that its right - but just the extreme things these people say and then they do the opposite. 

Heart Broken

Its no secret that I'm a lover. I love most people and all animals *except for spiders...and snakes*. This week had been particularly rough given the fact that I was sick on an off and we had a hell of a fiasco with our bank account. I thought for certain last night that I was over the funk of the week until I got some of the worst news I could possibly get. This past summer J and I fostered two dogs. Rockette was a boxer/pitt mix and Wessen was a pit bull puppy. We drove 13 hours to North Carolina to rescue them out of a bad situation - not the worst I've ever seen, but definitely needed improvement. I told myself that I would not get attached to them since we were only fostering them. I even did well when J took them back home in late July.  It was OK because I knew they were going back to good home, where they would be loved and taken care of. Unfortunately, because I also am too trusting, I found out the hard way that I was wrong. 

Last night I got a message explaining that Wessen has passed away last week. Yup, you read that correctly - a whole week after her passing I found out. Turns out she was rehomed given up to a "friend".  I have my own suspicions as to what happened, but allegedly sweet Baby Wessen stopped breathing in her sleep. I'm going to choose to accept that answer because, honestly, its too painful to think about the truth and the most likely reason why she passed. People always laugh at me when I explain that I believe pets go to Heaven. I don't think Heaven would be Heaven without all of the things we love. While our animals may not go, I believe that there will dogs with God and that when we look at them we'll see our babies that we have loved and lost. Maybe everyone will see an animal and instead of seeing the true animal we'll see what we think is our cat/dog/bird/hamster. Either way I head to bed with a heavy heart - knowing that this world is short one more sweet loving 4-legged baby. RIP Wessen - I'll never forget you even though I only had you for a short time.

It Just Wont Stop

To say my life is chaotic is quite the understatement! Life for me is a whirlwind which I cannot get out of. Not saying that I want to be out of it completely, but sometimes its nice to get off the roller coaster for a little bit. I currently am married to an amazing man, J, that I love with all my heart and soul. We've been together for 7 years and married for 5 of those. He is my rock - mentally, emotionally, physically...hes just fills parts of my life that I didnt know I was missing. We also have 2 sweet puppies, Stella and Dexter, who make me so unbelievably happy. Without them I probably would have thrown myself off the Empire State Building. They are the epitome of stress relief and cuteness.

Together with J and our sweet puppies my sister, B, is also living with us. Its funny when you're growing up together you always wanna kill the other one, especially when shes 5 years your junior and just HAS to be with you allll the time. Since my wedding in 2008 B and I have gotten so close. Shes grown into a beautiful woman who is spreading her wings and making her own choices. She really has shocked me with how quickly she picked up "being on her own". While shes not completely alone, she is figuring out the ropes of adult hood and hopefully learning from my mistakes - and trust me, there's a LOT of them.

You're going to find through this blog that I am not the average 25 year old woman. I have been through a lot in my life and I have some differing opinions about things because of what I've experienced. The biggest thing to remember is that any judgement or negativity will not be tolerated! I'm not saying you cant have a differing opinion - just don't be rude and pushy about it. My goal through this is let people know they're not alone. If there is just one person I can help because of this blog - my mission is a success.